I have been to Japan 14 times in the last 5 years but this time, well, this time is different. This time is special. Less adventurous than the first, as anticipated as the last, more meaningful than any another.
I have been planning this trip with much more attention, written lists of things to do, people to meet, places to go, timetables of trains and names of stations. I have been almost obsessed for months. Collected brochures, written emails, checked places. An obsession that makes me feel good, happy, loved. An intoxicating vortex of excitement where nothing else matters.
I won’t be the same person when I come back. My family and my boyfriend’s family will bond together as we will become husband and wife.
It feels strange to make such a long trip to get married. It reminds me of the long trips king’s daughters used to make to meet their future husband for the first time. Do you have the same mental image I have? A long procession of horses, carts and people, packed with the princess belongings, slowly crossing the wilderness. Of course I am not a princess and of course I am not travelling on a horse back and, most importantly, I know very well who is waiting for me ten thousand kilometers away from my native country. Still, packing my things and leaving towards an event that will change my life feels as epic as the image I just described.
The end of our 5 years long distance relationship is about to arrive and I feel happy and scared at the same time. I have been thinking about this moment for years, I felt silly trying to guess how my name sounds with his surname behind it. Even though I will not change my surname. I have been giggling in pleasure thinking about us wearing golden matching rings for the rest of our lives. I am full of anticipation and yet I am terrified about my new life approaching.
We have created our small island of happiness during the last 5 years and that island is transforming into something new, something we don’t know. But it is always us and everything is going to be messy and perfect on our secret island.